My daughter and I just watched Tyler Perry’s video on Success and Achieving your Dreams. I never knew he was told NO hundreds of times for his first main play he wrote and then heard many Nos beyond that too. Did you? I never knew his real story, and now I do, and we are grateful to take away the below 2 Major Secrets to achieve a dream.
Many of us really don’t know the amount of perseverance that goes into being a successful actor, simply because, we don’t hear about these actors until they are suddenly in the press, in a big movie or in a hit television show. We think we know, but we don’t.
“No, No, No, No, you are not the one. Not today. No. No. No. No No. No sorry. No. Not you. Not today. No. No. No. No and no reason. You were good but no. No. Nope. Nah. No.” Or they may hear nothing at all. Your child may hear NO twenty times, or hundreds of times or even more times than that. Tyler Perry did. And he kept his eye on the prize. He never faltered.
In Tyler’s Achieve your Dream Video below, he gives 2 major tips that he believes are the 2 MAIN SECRETs to his own success. I summarize that here and add some additional tips for parents of actors to use this knowledge to help your own child be successful:
Most people think they are concentrating on 1 dream. They think they are focusing on their goals to get there. They think their child is focusing on just 1 goal too. But if you examine their lives, they are trying to do 10 things at once. Even 2 things at once is 1 thing too much. For a dream to be successful, Tyler talks about being laser focused on 1 thing at a time. For example, for many years in the 90s, Tyler just cared about getting people to attend the play he wrote. He didn’t focus on anything other than getting people to his play. That was the 1 goal he thought about and breathed day in and day out. He believed in his play. He believed in the people coming. If people didn’t come, that didn’t change his dream. He didn’t care if he heard negativity, he let that roll right off. He was all about his play. No other side goals. No other acting or singing goals. No real estate business on the side. No other projects, books, side goals. None of that. He was solely focused on the success of his play.
If you are the parent of an actor, ask yourself now, is your child spread too thin? Each day is it clear which dream they are working on? Are they doing only acting supported by maybe dance or singing? Or do you have them in 8 activities everyday of the week on top of acting or even 4 other things besides acting? I believe acting plus a supporter field like dance or singing can be a strong pairing and actually work towards the 1 same dream. However, if you get into them doing acting 5 days a week, plus dance 5 days a week, plus after school classes like piano and guitar, it starts to be way too much for them to focus and to have time to practice. There is such a thing as too much for kids and for adults.As hard as it may be, we recently pulled back from dance for a little bit, so that our child actress could focus on her dreams: Acting as her #1 and Singing to Support Acting. It’s made for a much more focused journey.
Will things get added over time? Likely. Will she take dance workshops here and there. Likely. But those will not change her main dream. She has a ton of outside hobbies. She does playdates all of the time. Sleepovers are common. She loves to rollerskate, for example, but for the fun of it, she’s not currently trying to be the best rollerskater in the world.I’ve seen parents that have their children in full-time soccer travel teams at the same time as paying for full-time professional acting school. They are doing well in soccer and okay in acting. But they are not really progressing in acting as fast as they could if they would pull back from soccer a bit for now. In soccer they do well, but the acting may distract from their true soccer dreams. All of the time away at soccer games is invaluable to that dream, but takes away from their acting dream.
So, what are you to do if your child has 2 dreams? Good question. The answer in my mind is and likely Tyler would be in agreement with me (per his video advice): Make 1 of those the main dream and focus all of your support to empower your child in that 1 dream. They can take a workshop here and there or a camp for the 2nd dream, but it should not in anyway at all take away from Dream #1. Don’t try to do have your child do 2 major dreams at once. You are fooling yourself to think that your child can do both to their potential, as there is just not enough time at some point to give fully to both. They should be at mastery of some sort or achieving 1 dream before they dive head first into a full 2nd dream.
Again, I’m not saying stop soccer here. I’m just saying that 1 of these dreams should probably become 2nd and not done as much as the 1st. The 1st dream has to be the main focus of their free time. In many posts on this Raising an Actor blog, I have spent time making sure to point out that Acting should not be your child’s entire life. They must have exciting hobbies and activities outside of acting. They must have tons of kid time. However, that time outside of acting, in my opinion, should not be to go full force on another 2nd dream. That is just too much for even adults to handle.
I believe Tyler has nailed it with saying he’s seen so many people trying to do too much at once. He cannot believe how many people are fighting for their dream but at the same time are so all over the place with their daily routines and jobs. If people tracked their days, they’d surely be shocked in how much of their days are not in anyway helping them get closer to their dream. Their lack of focus is what is causing their dream to not be achieved. They have 10 eggs in 10 baskets instead of 10 eggs in 1 basket. As the parent of your child, who has big dreams, it is your responsibility to consider if you are doing all you can to focus and empower them.
The 2nd rule is the one I’m sure you’ve heard before, but Tyler drives it home in his video. No matter how many times your child hears NO, if acting is their true dream, they need to keep going. You must always believe in the dream and so must they. Your child needs to learn how to be resilient. They need to be okay to be happy with just the act of auditioning for fun. For any dream they have or you have, you will hear no, it’s going to happen. You have to learn to not listen to those people. Sure, you can take away some suggestions on ways to improve, but you still have to believe in the ultimate dream.
There will be a lot of people trying to pull you and your child actor down. You have to find a way to not let those negative comments or nos get under your skin. It never can get to you, or their dream will derail or come to a halt. At times you may even think they have a point or you may find yourself starting to listen to their negative conversation. But, you have to see beyond that. Just believe in the dream always and everyday, every minute. Your child has to believe everyday, every minute. No one or nothing can come in the way of your child’s dream. Even if it seems like a long shot too, at the starting line, you need to still believe the dream will come. And the belief that this is what they are meant to do, needs to always be there. Tyler attributes a lot of his success to his unwavering belief. He always knew his dream and never 2nd guessed himself.
- Now that we’ve summarized what we got out of Tyler’s video, we highly encourage you to watch the below video in full with your child actor.